This Is Why I'm Hot.

I have started a new diet which consists of absolutely no sugar, vegetable oils or saturated fats. Not because I'm trying to lose weight, but I have self diagnosed myself with hormonal acne. I know, so hot. I have been on this "diet" for about 3 days and already there is a huge improvement and I don't feel like a disgusting monstrosity like I have for the past 3 months.

Being that I work in the restaurant industry, I'm exposed and forced to work with so many people and having to serve people all day really doesn't help my insecurities at all. I'm so obsessed with clear skin that sometimes I will be talking to someone and just wonder HOW this fugly biotch has clear skin and I don't. That's who I've become. I should be on MTV True Life: I HATE HORMONALLY BALANCED PEOPLE.

So back to the diet... let me preface this by saying that I was desperate. I was researching acne all day all night and still coming up with nothing. I was so close to going on a 3 day apple diet, which consists of a nightly enema and putting canola oil on your skin. Research it... it almost makes sense. The idea is that apples soak up toxins in your body and the enemas get rid of the toxins. Not sure what the canola oil does, but like I said... DESPERATE.

So on the day I decided to start this sensible diet, I was sitting in bed waiting for the apples to magically appear in my kitchen. Maybe an apple tree would grow on my lanai for me. I was almost having an outer body experience where I could see myself getting ready and going to the store and picking everything up, preparing it and eating it in bed, but like I said... ALMOST. Reality check, I was still sitting in bed starving.

I decided to give up before I started. I like apples, but for 3 days? And you can't even get creative with it and make apple pies or apple butter... and believe me, watching the food network doesn't help. So I decided to research more, even though I feel like I'm feeding my addiction to obsess. So then I came upon this one online book that promised clear skin, good nutrition and vast riches! Okay, so maybe not the last part, but 2 out of 3 isn't bad.

So I bought this online book for $40 (Don't Judge Me) and it basically says don't eat sugar, oils or fats. It also lists the supplements that I need to take and a few other preventative actions to take. So I've been following these guidelines and I've seen some miraculous results, but they don't come without a price. I've come to the realization that sugars, oils and fats are the 3 components that make food scrumptious. Add sugar and deep fry it. That's the recipe to greatness. (Damn, I sound like NR) I can't even have fruits because they have natural sugars in them and so basically I eat alot of vegetables and drink alot of water. And when I get too hungry to convince myself it's worth it, I draw pictures of McDonalds and eat the paper. (Once again, don't judge me)

I must say the only relief I've had with this whole ordeal is being able to come home to someone who loves me no matter how I look. And no matter how neurotic I was about everything and how ridiculous he thought I was for spending my money on crazy things, he never made me feel worse about the whole situation... only better. It must be love!

Once I feel I'm completely hormonally balanced, I'll cheat here and there, but in the long run, it's good to improve my overall diet. And whenever I'm feeling really dangerous, I'll even treat myself to some soda pop!

So I have this to ask you.... which would you choose? BEING FAT AND OBESE WITH AMAZING SKIN? OR HOT AND FRESH WITH UNCOVERABLE ACNE? Consider this... being fat is more common than distracting acne and plus-size modeling is rapidly becoming more and more acceptable in the modeling industry, which will eventually overflow into common fat folks becoming more and more accepted in everyday life. And even though obesity kills and acne never killed anyone, you will never see acne on the catwalk. Something to think about...